- I moved from Chicago to San Diego to be with my long-distance boyfriend, who’s now my husband.
- Although my friends were jealous I was moving to a sunny “paradise,” San Diego wasn’t for me.
- I found the weather to be boring, and I didn’t like how hard it was to get around without a car.
After living in Chicago for six years, I had a fulfilling career, great friends, and was involved in several organizations.
I would’ve happily stayed there forever, but my then-boyfriend (now husband) was in the Navy. We’d been in a long-distance relationship for seven years, and we wanted to be together.
In July 2023, I moved to where he was currently located: San Diego.
When I told my Midwest friends and colleagues about my move to California, some of their eyes would grow wide with envy.
Many of them — some who’d never been to San Diego — would tell me how lucky I was to move to a sunny “paradise” with so many beaches.
I would smile and nod, but I was actually very reluctant to move. Eventually, I learned firsthand why the sunny city wasn’t the right home for me.
San Diego’s sunny weather bored me
Chelsey Stone
Although many of my Midwest friends envied the idea of year-round beach weather — especially during frigid winters — I wasn’t a fan of it.
Having grown up in California, I actually took perverse delight in the adversity of Chicago’s cold and snowy winters. I was amazed at how the city carried on, no matter the weather conditions.
I loved having white Christmases like in the movies I watched as a kid. I reveled in Chicago’s changing seasons, dining outdoors in the spring and summer, bundling up in the winter, and watching the leaves change in the fall.
Meanwhile, San Diego’s weather is almost always sunny and in the 60s. Eventually, I even removed the weather app from my phone’s home screen because I felt there was no point in checking it anymore.
Although the sunshine was nice when I wanted to visit the beach or one of the area’s great hiking trails, I grew bored by the lack of seasonal change and even missed the difficulties Midwestern winters can bring.
I missed needing to wear the sweaters my nana had knit to keep me warm in Chicago — and being able to comfortably visit the beach on Christmas just felt wrong to me.
I struggled to adjust to living in a car-centric city
Before moving, I’d visited my partner many times, so I knew just how car-centric San Diego is. However, I didn’t have (or need) a car in Chicago and had no desire to purchase or own one.
Since San Diego is also a sunny beach town, I assumed cycling to get around would be popular, convenient, and easy enough. I soon discovered that was not the case.
Unfortunately, many of the city’s neighborhoods and downtown areas didn’t feel well connected for biking. I struggled to find bike lanes, and my map apps often directed me to cycle on roads that were basically highways.
Eventually, I began trying to run or walk to places instead, but that, too, proved challenging as I often encountered missing sidewalks or busy roads.
On the bright side, I was pleasantly surprised by San Diego’s public transportation. To be fair, coming from Chicago — a big city with extensive bus and train options — I had very low expectations.
Although it was nice to be able to take public transit, it sometimes took me an hour or more and several connections to travel throughout San Diego.
Eventually, I accepted that San Diego and I just don’t have compatible priorities when it comes to getting around. Living here reminded me how much I prefer walkable cities to car-centric ones.
Sometimes it was even hard to enjoy the beaches
L. Toshio Kishiyama/Getty Images
Many of my Midwestern friends were jealous of just how many beautiful local beaches I’d have access to in San Diego.
Unfortunately, these beaches also drew in many tourists and visitors — and I didn’t always know if I’d be able to fully enjoy them.
I moved to California just before the Fourth of July 2023, and I still remember my run around Mission Bay the day after the holiday weekend that brought me to tears.
Our nearby beaches were covered in abandoned pool floaties, broken camping chairs, and food bags that couldn’t fit in overflowing trashcans. Rummaging seagulls further dispersed the garbage as I gagged on the stench of stale beer.
Hundreds of people had come into my new home, partied all night, left their trash, and now the beach had a serious hangover.
Unfortunately, this incident in 2023 wasn’t the first (or last) time locals and volunteers were left to clean up messes partygoers left behind during holiday weekends.
It never got easier to watch my home being treated so poorly.
After a year in California, I was excited to leave
I lived in San Diego for almost exactly one year before we relocated to the Washington, DC, area.
I couldn’t have been more excited about the prospect of living in a walkable city with changing seasons and ample public-transportation options once more.
Although I understand why many love San Diego, it just wasn’t for me — and I’ve been happy spending my days in DC exploring museums instead of lounging on the beach.
