- My husband and I used to feel pressure to eventually buy a house.
- But we love our rental home, and we don’t want to buy a house just to live up to the American dream.
- We’ve decided that renting is what’s right for us right now and feel good about our decision.
It was love at first sight.
When we walked into our current home for the first time in February 2021 and saw how the natural light poured in from the large bay window and illuminated the spacious living area, we turned to the owner and said, “Yes, we’ll take it.”
The haphazardly taken photo that my husband saw on Craigslist just days prior to our viewing of the home did an excellent job concealing the hidden gem — the opposite of its intention. The property was situated in an attractive neighborhood with family-friendly sidewalks and gorgeous landscapes, and the dwelling itself was crafted with immaculate attention to detail, tasteful crown molding, Art Deco-style door knobs, and original hardwood flooring. The two-bedroom bungalow, nestled in the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains, was double the space of our previous NYC apartment and rapidly won our hearts — and our wallets.
A couple of months after relocating, we celebrated my daughter’s first birthday in our new home with both sides of our family in attendance. The fact that all of our immediate relatives could now visit us for the day or overnight was another added benefit to our move.
A month later, I discovered that I was pregnant with our second child, and soon thereafter, we began to feel the pressure to find “our forever home,” thinking that we needed more space for our growing family and believing the myth that we were “behind” our peers.
We’re grateful for our home
Now, four years later, we have landed on contentment and gratitude for our rental situation. We pay just $1,750 a month (compared to the average mortgage payment of $3,500 here in Asheville, North Carolina), and we are able to send our girls to the best private preschools in town, where they are able to receive focused attention and care.
We’ve come to admonish the pressure to perform in the so-called “rat race” because what really matters at this point in our lives (and for its remainder, really) is our family’s emotional and physical well-being. In order for our children’s quality of life to be in tip-top shape, my husband and I have learned to be very intentional about what serves us and what does not, and we regularly discuss, review, and prune that list.
The truth is the old and weary “American dream” narrative no longer serves us.
We realized renting works for us
In recent years, I’ve learned to stop comparing our lives to others because, in the end, it doesn’t matter how we measure up to one another; we’re all going to end up six feet under. At the end of my life, I believe I’ll be happier with my choices if I’ve spent my time and attention having focused on life’s top priorities: health and wellness and relationships with others.
By renting our humble abode, I’m able to shop and prepare organic and/or locally sourced meals for my family of four. Our family can walk right out of our front door and go on an evening walk around the block without fear or worry about our safety. Even more, we know we can rely on our neighbors if and when we need them.
We’re able to maintain a comfortable lifestyle because we do not have any debt, and my husband’s salary covers all of our necessary expenses. The money that I earn goes directly into savings or covers the costs of “extras” that we feel will enhance our lives or the lives of our daughters.
Because of our small space, we aren’t able to accommodate out-of-town guests or take lavish vacations right now. However, we can cover the cost of a night or two at a local hotel when we do have visitors, and we can go on vacations with our extended families because we split the charges. We don’t have an aesthetic kitchen or bathroom, but we do have functional and adequate ones. And that’s OK.
My husband and I have found that once we let go of the ideals that plague many millennials today, we have become less stressed and more carefree. Having the extra room in our heads has cleared out more space in our hearts, and we are, on average, happier human beings.
Sure, there are folks out there who would say that we have failed as 30-somethings, but when I look into the eyes of my happy, healthy kids and see the joy fill my husband’s face during our time together in our modest home, I see success. I don’t see burnout, anxiety, humiliation, or shame. And isn’t that worth celebrating? Isn’t that worth all of the accolades in life?
I think so.
