- My daughter is entering high school, and I got her a “dumb phone” with no access to social media.
- I can’t ignore the studies that say social media is harmful to teens.
- She can try to change my mind, but I doubt I’ll budge.
I spent over a decade working in education. After the pandemic, I saw a distinct change in the screentime habits of my middle school students, and that’s when I knew I needed to make a different decision for my daughter.
My daughter is finishing up middle school and about to enter high school this year.
I decided my teenager would have a “dumb phone” that’s limited to calling, texting, and photo-taking capabilities. The phone will never have social media, internet browsing, email, news, or ads. The goal is to have my teenager go through most of high school with a dumb phone.
Of course, my daughter isn’t happy about it, but I am certain I’m making the right decision.
I can’t ignore the studies that show social media is harmful to teens
To say my teenager is less than thrilled to be getting a dumb phone for high school would be the understatement of the century. It’s not just my teenager; other parents are typically taken aback as well.
However, I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all plan for technology that works for teens and social media.
I can’t simply ignore the facts. According to a 2024 Pew Research study, 95% of teenagers at least have access to a smartphone, putting our decision to give our teenager a dumb phone into a much smaller subset — and making us wildly unpopular parents. The study also found that these teens are on social media apps “almost constantly.”
Smartphones bombard teenagers with constant notifications, curated images, and overwhelming amounts of information — all of which can contribute to increased anxiety, depression, and isolation.
The social and physical comparisons on social media are unrelenting and incredibly harmful, especially for teenage girls. Teenagers are especially susceptible to visual comparison and perfectionism, and social media platforms give much more life to these ideas than I could ever counter as a parent. I cannot compete with that, so I am not going to spend my energy trying to do so.
I am worried my daughter will feel left out
Our daughter has played competitive sports for several years, which involve travel and significant time at practice and games. I connect with her through an Apple Watch, which gives me a way to communicate while keeping track of her safely and allowing autonomy. However, it doesn’t give her the ability to communicate with her friends or teammates.
If you ask her what bothers her the most about having an internet-less phone, the top complaints are that she won’t have the internet to look information up and that she won’t be able to download games. Luckily, being on social media holds no value for her as a middle schooler heading into high school, but she’s a teen, and that could change tomorrow.
I’m sure she’ll struggle to communicate with friends outside school, but she can still make phone calls. She will also have a laptop for high school.
I’m open to changing my decision, but I doubt I’ll budge
I told my daughter that if she can find three studies demonstrating the benefits of smartphones and social media, I will renegotiate my stance. The empirical evidence is not in her favor.
When she’s an adult — and there is far more research and data — I’m more than willing to admit I was wrong if studies show that social media and smartphones weren’t the problem.
I just don’t think that will happen.
