- Once my single mother got a handle on her eating disorder, she decided to go to college in her 50s.
- She’s now a counselor and helps people with substance abuse issues.
- My mother and I went through treatment together, and I also struggled in college.
My mom began her college education at 55 years old, shortly after completing an eating disorder treatment program.
As a single mother battling mental health issues, she never had the opportunity to go to college or explore her interests. But, after I flew the coop and she got help for her eating disorder, she finally chased her goals.
Like her, I also struggle with mental health issues and found it difficult to put college first.
Together, we overcame our biggest obstacles and achieved our dreams.
My addiction hindered my college journey
While I don’t have children, I, too, relate to a non-traditional college journey. I’m in recovery from substance use disorder — a glorious mix of alcohol, drugs, and countless other self-destructive behaviors created a myriad of hurdles to my education for a decade.
As anyone on a recovery journey knows, substance use disorders are usually accompanied by undiagnosed mental health issues or personality disorders. We often think it’s easier to self-medicate than to ask for help.
This life outlook makes “simple” tasks like finishing homework and going to class feel impossible. I took college courses on and off, binge drinking and bartending until 2 a.m.
I dropped out of school more times than I can count, finally graduating with a degree in business administration at age 28.
Motherhood and mental health issues got in the way of my mom’s dreams
Mom always wanted to be a counselor because she genuinely enjoys helping others, but she couldn’t prioritize education as a single mom with limited support. Mom went back to work when I was six weeks old while also juggling childcare and undiagnosed mental health issues.
A single parent living paycheck to paycheck rarely has the luxury of time to peruse college admissions pamphlets or the countless hours needed to fill out financial aid forms or write scholarship essays — not to mention how challenging life can be with mental health struggles, leaving little room for motivation to flourish.
But when she finally put herself first in her 50s and dealt with her eating disorder, she met a treatment counselor. My mom figured she was a seasoned veteran based on her age. Apparently, this woman returned to college later in life, ultimately inspiring my mother to do the same.
Mom now works in her dream career as a substance abuse counselor, while I also work in my dream career as a published author and entrepreneur in the sobriety space.
Figuring ourselves out is one day at a time, too.
Our lives have long been intertwined
My mom addressed her eating disorder at the same time I addressed my substance abuse. Going through this shared recovery journey showed us how eating disorders and substance use disorders stem from similar desires to escape reality through self-medication. Her drug of choice was food; mine was alcohol and drugs.
Mom is a strong, independent woman who inspired me to be the same way.
We bring our inclusive approach to recovery to our work, too. We understand that addiction is addiction — whether it’s drugs, gambling, shopping, food, or self-harm. Life is freaking hard; many folks don’t have the tools or resources to address our various coping skills.
She has some advice for anyone wanting to pursue their dreams
I asked my mom if she had any words of wisdom for someone reading this, thinking about returning to school.
“Make an appointment with an advisor and learn your options. If your advisor isn’t helpful, find another one,” she told me.
Pursuing education is similar to mental health recovery: It’s all about self-advocacy, asking for help, and leaning into peer support.
“Making an appointment with an advisor was easy, but actually going to the meeting was so hard,” she continued, “I luckily found an advisor who listened to my goals and mapped out my options. She was one of the most important people in my education.”
Through our journeys, we both learned that if you have the right people in your corner, you can achieve anything.
