- I was hesitant to invite my in-laws on family vacations but I don’t regret it.
- My children get to see a can-do, adventurous attitude modeled by their grandparents.
- Traveling together has many benefits, including shared memories and built-in babysitting.
Several years ago, my husband and I invited his parents to take an eight-day trip to Montana and Wyoming with us and our two children. I worried eight days could be too long to spend together in confined spaces, especially with a 4 and 9-year-old.
We went for it anyway.
My in-laws jumped at the opportunity to spend extended time with their grandkids. The trip had only minor hiccups — whining and little meltdowns from the children — but it went so smoothly that we’ve invited my in-laws on every family vacation since.
This year marked our 10th trip with the abuelitos (grandparents). Here’s what we’ve learned.
Spending time together strengthens our bond
Riding for five- to 10-hour stints in an SUV has promoted heart-to-heart conversations with my mother-in-law about her family and childhood that I’m not sure we would have heard otherwise. Thanks to these long, uninterrupted hours, we know she grew up in a one-bedroom house in Mesa, Arizona, with five of her nine siblings, a backyard garden, and the chickens they raised to eat.
These trips have also revealed another side of my father-in-law. He’s quiet by nature but my husband and I discovered he loves meeting new people. In a jacuzzi in Jackson Hole, we listened to him crack jokes and engage in small talk with other retirees. Outside of Mexico City, he befriended a man who grew up in the same region of Mexico as he did. The two shared tales of a Quinta (large estate) that housed exotic animals and the area’s best watering holes.
Traveling together has forged a deeper understanding of each other and our roots. And although it’s fun to reflect on the past, these trips also provide opportunities to create new narratives.
Our children build memories with their grandparents
“Remember that time we…” begins many of our conversations. It’s one of the best parts of taking vacations together.
I’m glad we invited my in-laws on trips when the kids were young, even if whining and tantrums happened. If we’d waited for our kids to be a more “ideal age,” my in-laws would have been older and some of those trips to far-off places may not have happened had we waited.
Sometimes my children pull out our travel albums and point to photos with their grandparents in front of a geyser or a historical site. These memories are priceless.
My husband and I enjoy introducing his parents to places and activities outside their comfort zone.
My husband and I have encouraged my in-laws to hike or crawl into caves with us. We’ve so often pushed them past their boundaries that my mother-in-law admits they start a walking regimen months before our trips to prepare for whatever nonsense I plan.
I love that they can count on us for an adventure, and I’m always impressed at their willing attitude.
My father-in-law’s favorite part of our trip to Yellowstone was the 1.5-mile out-and-back hike to the Grand Prismatic Spring. With a gradual 105-foot climb, he huffed and puffed up that trail and nearly gave up until a couple older than passed him on the path, calling out, “You’ve got this!”
He said their words bolstered him and the Prismatic Spring view was worth the effort. Similarly, at the Teotihicuan Pyramids outside Mexico City, my mother-in-law found the steep, narrow climb nearly impossible. But she said the experience of standing on ancient stones and overlooking the plaza was unforgettable.
Unconsciously, but powerfully, my children’s abuelitos are modeling a “can-do attitude” to them and that it’s never too late to try new things and embrace adventure.
Besides the inward gains of traveling together, there are also practical benefits.
Traveling in a group is more economical
We always look for Airbnbs or hotels that accommodate a party of seven. We rent vans or SUVs, allowing us to split the cost of a rental vehicle, making one of the most expensive items on a travel budget more economical.
Admittedly, this works more in our favor than theirs, but I appreciate it when they also offer to split a meal with us or add one of the kid’s meals to their tab. Meals out are expensive and their willingness to share some of that cost means our family can better afford travel.
Another practical aspect of traveling that benefits us is the free babysitting my husband and I receive.
Grandparents can be the best built-in babysitters
Traveling with three kids has its challenges.
On our last trip, my husband and I were so worn out from two long adventure days that we needed a reset.
“We’ll take the kids this morning,” my mother-in-law volunteered. “Go, have fun. Don’t come back for five hours!”
Finally, my husband and I could relax and reconnect.
Family dynamics can differ — for some, traveling together may be unwise. But if you have extended family willing to adventure with you and you with them, invite them along. These trips might reward you with a trove of stories and photo albums while also deepening priceless ties with each other.
