I’m having my third child at 39. It’s a different experience from when I was pregnant with my other 2 boys.
My 40th birthday is in April, and my third son is due just two months before my milestone age. It’s a fact that came as a bigger surprise to me than anyone else.
A few days after a missed period and continual cramping, I asked my husband to go buy a test. It lit up with double lines so quickly that, in my shock, I wondered if there were multiple babies. Later, I learned I was hosting just one new babe.
Things are different this time
The pregnancy was unexpected, but not unwelcome. After several miscarriages, likely due to my bicornuate (or heart-shaped) uterus, I thought our days of having babies were over. However, this one found a viable spot to hold onto, and he’s now over half-grown, having just completed his anatomy scan with nonstop movement.
Unlike my earlier pregnancies, this one is taking a greater toll. At five months pregnant, I’m more tired and nauseous, and my belly has gotten bigger faster. That meant earlier acid reflux, more bathroom breaks, more months of waddling, and all the difficulties that come with pregnancy: it’s a process to stand up, hard to bend over, and I’m just plain slow. Every day, the words, “And that’s Uncle Joe, he’s a moving kinda slow” from Petticoat Junction play in my head. Not unlike Uncle Joe, I’m moving very slowly at all times.
And that’s with extra sleep — after getting my sons (7 and 9) to sleep each night, I’m in bed right behind them, usually crashed out by 8:30 or 9. This body is doing a lot of growing, and it’s exhausted.
Much to my husband’s chagrin, there was no “fun period” of this pregnancy. I went straight from constant nausea to feeling uncomfortable. This is likely due to it being a third advanced pregnancy. Despite only gaining 15 pounds thus far, I’m short with a short torso, so when the baby grows, I grow along with him.
One thing that has made life easier this go-around is that my children are older now. Now, I have two helpers who can pick things up, fetch drinks, or take out the trash. At home, they do most of my bending and gathering and are happy to help; it’s a far cry from the early days of having two under 2.
I have a clean bill of health, though we’ll be doing more frequent monitoring
My doctor noted that 35-39 is a “gray area” for the advanced maternal age protocol. Though chromosomal and gene variant blood tests are recommended after 35, my insurance disagreed, opting not to cover the recommended prenatal blood tests due to my heritage. Thankfully, we weren’t on the hook for the entire $12,154 bill due to the company’s income requirement guidelines — families up to 400% of the federal poverty level are eligible for heavy discounts — but my insurance rant is beside the point.
The tests were done, and all came back with good news. Considering the annual increase in risk to pregnancies in one’s 30s, it came as a huge relief. There will be a point where my doctor visits increase — to date, I’ve been seen once a month, but after 32 weeks, that jumps to once a week for fetal monitoring and blood pressure checks. Medically, this is the only change from my previous pregnancies I’ve seen so far, thanks to an otherwise clean bill of health. Hopefully that continues to be the case, but there’s no denying this pregnancy is taking a toll on my body.
Pregnancy is a young person’s game, but thankfully, I’m over halfway through. In the meantime, I’ll continue to sleep and rest, helping us both through a healthy pregnancy.
