At the beginning of the year, my family moved from Bright in country Victoria to the Gold Coast, Australia’s sixth biggest city. Our new home has a population of close to 740,000, so it was a bit of a shock to the system moving from a tiny town of fewer than 3,000 people to the “big smoke.”
In Bright, we had a lovely group of friends, most of whom we met through school or work. On the Gold Coast, my husband and I were lucky enough to have a handful of friends from when we lived here 15 years ago, but I was also eager to meet new people and expand our social circle.
Putting yourself out there in your 40s can be daunting, but it’s so worth the effort. After just a few months, I’ve cultivated a lovely new circle of friends from all different walks of life. Here’s how.
I ignore the ‘stranger danger’ warning
From an early age, we’re taught to be mindful of strangers, but truth be told, I love talking to random people. One of the things that makes me feel most alive is discovering different people’s stories and perspectives about the world.
Since moving to the Gold Coast, I’ve made a habit of striking up conversations with strangers wherever I go. Gymnastics mums, parents at the playground, book lovers at the library. Often, we end up exchanging numbers and hanging out afterward. From these brief encounters, lovely friendships are blossoming.
Courtesy of Melissa Noble
I say ‘yes’ frequently
When life is busy with work and kids, it’s tempting to decline social invites and chill on the couch. But if you want to build friendships, it helps to be a ‘yes’ person. Since moving to the Gold Coast, I’ve tried to say ‘yes’ to catching up whenever possible.
When a new friend invited me to her high tea birthday celebration at the last minute, I blew off work and went along. I ended up meeting some lovely new people.
When another friend invited me for an early morning hike, I was so tempted to decline and sleep in instead, but I fronted up and had the best time making memories in the sunshine.
I initiate catch-ups well in advance
One thing I’ve had to adjust to after moving from the country to the city is the busier pace of life. In the country, you could literally give people 10 minutes’ notice that you were popping over for a tea, but here, people have really busy lives.
After moving to the Gold Coast, I started initiating get-togethers well in advance, often giving people four to six weeks’ notice. That way, it’s on the calendar and more likely to happen.
Courtesy of Melissa Noble
I’m leaning into my true, authentic self
Being my true, authentic self has helped me forge deeper connections with new friends. We often put up walls with unfamiliar people, but once you break them down, you open the door to more meaningful conversations and relationships.
As an example, one of the first group get-togethers I organized with a bunch of new friends was a woo-woo women’s night. Everyone made a dream board for 2026, answered conversation cards, and shared their intentional “word” for 2026.
For some of the ladies, it was outside their comfort zone, but they were brave enough to open up. afterward, several remarked how much they enjoyed the experience, and it felt like it broke the ice on our new friendship journey.
It definitely takes time and energy to build a new social circle in your 40s, but once you find your people, it’s so rewarding. One of the benefits of making new friends at this age is that you know who you are, and who you want to spend your time with.
I highly recommend striking up a conversation with a stranger and seeing where it takes you. You might be pleasantly surprised, just as I was.
