After Being in 125 Weddings, Here’s What I Made Sure I Had at My Own

Over the past decade, I’ve been hired as a bridesmaid over 125 times, so I know my way around a wedding. 

I started my business, Bridesmaid for Hire, to provide a service to brides who need someone by their side on their big day — whether it’s because they don’t have any close friends or their close friends aren’t up for the dirty work that comes with the role. 

After every wedding I’ve attended, I found myself writing down things I adored and things I knew I’d never want at my own. 

When my partner and I decided to ditch our traditional wedding plans because of the pandemic and plan a low-key ceremony instead, I carefully thought about what I really wanted and what I knew I didn’t need.

We got married in 2021 outside of the coffee shop where we had our first date with a handful of friends supporting us in person and the rest of our family over Zoom. I was able to plan the whole day in less than a week.

In the end, there are the five essential things I made sure to include in our pared-down ceremony.

It was important that we had a professional photographer there to capture the day

A wedding photographer is usually one of the first vendors that couples pick when planning their big day.

In addition to being within my price range, I always knew that the photographer I hired had to meet three criteria.

First, I wanted to make sure they provided quality work in a style I liked. Second, I wanted to make sure their personality jived with mine since the bride spends a lot of quality time with the photographer on the wedding day.

Lastly, I wanted to work with someone who had experience photographing weddings and could anticipate challenges and navigate mishaps.

For example, since we got married outside a coffee shop, there were a lot of strangers walking by. Yet, my skilled photographer was able to capture key moments without the unexpected guests.

It took a little extra time and calls to find the right photographer, but I think my patience paid off. Your photos will help you remember the day for the rest of your life, so they’re worth investing in. 

Since our guest list was small, we were able to order personalized drinks and food 

Since we only had 15 people at our wedding, I decided to make the refreshments as personalized as possible rather than ordering a lot of food and drinks.

This ultimately allowed me to save money because I didn’t need to estimate portions and order a ton of extra options. Plus, it made my guests feel appreciated.

A few days before the event, I asked all the guests to submit what they wanted to drink and eat during our ceremony, and I preordered refreshments based on their responses.

When they arrived, the drink they’d ordered was waiting for them, and we had a table of snacks and sweets set up that was based on their choices.

Having a meaningful ceremony with personalized vows was important to both of us

One thing I’ve always loved at weddings I’ve worked is when couples have a personal, meaningful ceremony. Oftentimes, this includes sharing vows and hiring an officiant who is close to the couple.

Even though we planned ours at the last minute, I still made sure that my partner and I exchanged vows we wrote ourselves. I also wanted the ceremony as a whole to highlight our love story. 

Since our officiant was my partner’s brother, we asked him to write a ceremony script from scratch. It wasn’t necessarily an easy task, but it really made our wedding unique and personal. 

Wedding favors can be hit or miss, so I decided to thank our guests with personalized gifts

During my first few years of working weddings, I decided that party favors were usually a waste of money.

However, if done right, giving your guests a gift at the end of the event can be something special.

Since we had only a handful of people at our ceremony, I decided to create personalized thank-you gifts to show my appreciation.

I spent a total of $15 per person and filled tote bags with two to three items that I thought the person would enjoy. I included things like their favorite candy, mini candles, and other treats from local shops in our neighborhood. 

This was our way of showing each person how much they mean to us while giving them things they’re likely to actually use and care about.

I ditched my plans for big floral arrangements, but I kept my colorful bouquet

Flowers can really make a wedding look and feel exquisite, but they’re often a giant waste of money.

Arrangements are pricey, and once the wedding is over, florals usually end up in the trash.

I originally wanted to decorate the outside of the coffee shop with beautiful floral installations that would’ve cost thousands of dollars.

However, I ended up limiting my flowers to a simple and colorful bouquet that cost under $100. I used the bouquet as decor during the ceremony, held it in photos, and later dried my flowers so that I could keep them after the big day.

Giant floral installations would’ve looked cool, but I’m not sure our guests would’ve really appreciated them, so they just weren’t worth the money.

At the end of the day, our low-key ceremony was still meaningful and memorable in the ways that I always hoped it would be.

This story was originally published on May 14, 2021, and most recently updated on May 28, 2026.