Growing up in El Salvador, my parents taught me to be independent from an early age. When I was about 6 years old, I would go pick up small items at la tiendita (the corner store) or grab some tortillas down the road from my house by myself.
A couple of years later, I started walking to my elementary school by myself, about 1 kilometer (a little over half a mile) away. Then, my parents started a tiendita business in front of the house, and I began helping them with sales when I was 10 years old and knew basic math.
Naturally, I want my kids to be independent too, but what that looks like is a little different than what I experienced growing up. I moved to the US as a young adult, got married, and am raising my two children, ages 8 and 1, here.
While many kids here don’t have the same freedom I did in El Salvador, my wife and I are trying to do things differently. Here are some ways we’re letting our oldest explore her world on her own.
We let her walk to school by herself when she turned 8
My daughter’s school is within walking distance. We have been walking her to school for the past few years. When she was about to turn 8, she said, “I want to walk to school by myself.”
That day, my heart sank; I wasn’t ready for it, but she was.
We began practicing having her be the leader, walking to school, stopping and looking both ways at the stop sign, and telling us it was safe to cross. For her 8th birthday, we let her walk to school alone for the first time. It was a proud moment for me, and it gave me peace of mind that we could see her cross the only street she had to cross by herself.
A minute later, the crossing guard texted my wife, letting her know that our daughter had made it to the school grounds OK, and that, moving forward, she would send a thumbs-up emoji every time our kid crossed the street with her. That gave me extra peace of mind.
We had her start taking the dog out by herself when she was 7
When our oldest daughter was 3 years old, she began asking for a dog.
Eventually, she got her wish, and while she’s the family dog, we’re having her increasingly take on more responsibility for her care.
Courtesy of José R. Mendoza
When my daughter turned 7, she started taking our dog out in our front yard by herself. She is still getting used to picking up the dog’s poop, but for the most part, she does a good job of taking her dog out independently.
She’s also in charge of feeding her and playing with her. We still have to give her daily reminders, but she does the work herself.
She started running a lemonade stand when she was 4 and a half
In El Salvador, I learned about money and hard work early in life, so I want my daughter to learn that as well.
When my daughter was 4 and a half years old, my wife and I helped her set up her first lemonade stand. We went to the grocery store to buy the lemons, and then at home, I taught her how to make homemade lemonade. She helped wash the lemons, squeeze them, add the sugar, and stir the lemonade.
When we set up the lemonade stand, I sat with my daughter and taught her how to serve her customers. The first lemonade stand was a success; even though she was selling the lemonade for only $1 a cup, she made over $60, mostly from tips. People are very generous and really encourage entrepreneurship in our town. Now it’s become an annual tradition. This summer, I think she’ll be ready to be out there by herself.
I started teaching her how to cook by herself when she was 7
I want my daughter to know how to make full meals when she’s older and become a good cook like me.
Last summer, when she was 7, I started teaching her how to make pupusas (a Salvadoran dish), omelets, pasta, and pancakes.
As a matter of fact, on the morning I wrote this essay, she made pancakes for our whole family from scratch under my supervision. She collected the ingredients, mixed them together, and cooked them in a frying pan. She did incredibly well, but still needs a little more practice flipping them.
Looking ahead
As my daughter grows older, I will continue to help her become more independent and have our youngest follow in her footsteps.
I also hope to follow my parents’ example by teaching them both to drive in their early teenage years, to be hardworking people, and to know how to live and take care of themselves by the time they’re both adults.
