Ever since my oldest kid was born, I’ve been warned about the teenage years.
When I talked to people about my kids, some of them seemed to relish warning me about the upcoming teen years. If one of the kids got a little sassy, people would remark, “Just wait ’til they’re teenagers!” I’d get the same response if a kid were throwing a tantrum or doing pretty much anything negative.
But now that two of my four kids have graduated from high school, and my last two are in it, I’ve been living with high schoolers for more than eight years now.
And the teenage years are absolutely my favorite phase of parenting.
I understand the fears people have about raising teens
When I read about older kids and teens, since I was going to have some soon, I was warned about vaping, sexting, and the negative effects of social media.
I read that I should restrict their phones. When they were actually on their phones, I needed to know everything they were doing.
Yes, all of those risks are real and the advice is important, but they’re not the whole story.
They’re just more fun as teenagers
The one thing missing from all the parenting advice on raising teens is any indication of how fun it is.
Now that my teens are almost adults, they’re finally working with the reasoning skills of almost-adults. That means I can take a back seat to a lot of their decision-making. That’s a relief for me.
They’re also coming into their personalities. My teens are developing a funny sense of humor as they get older. They’re starting to look at the world around them and develop opinions and ideas. Their passions for music, art, and sports are blossoming. It’s so fun to witness.
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Frankly, their games and performances are a lot more enjoyable now. All those squeaky fourth-grade band performances and pee-wee football games are thankfully in the past. Now, I get to attend exciting high school sports games, musicals, art shows, and other events.
The most rewarding part? The kids now know when they’ve nailed a play or performance. They can feel it, and they thrive on it. It’s amazing to see.
I also love watching my teens with their friends. Sure, everyone is growing up. But I think they know this time is fleeting, so they also embrace their childlike, goofy side. They shoot hilariously stupid videos, or they’ll start a group dance in the middle of dinner. It’s like everyone knows they’re in their last throes of childhood, and they’re going to embrace it while they still can.
I know this period isn’t easy for every parent
I know not every teenager has an idyllic high school experience. I’m often up at night, worrying about everything from car crashes to school shootings.
And I know not everyone has teens who are engaged at school. There are high schoolers already struggling with addiction and mental illness. This is the age of possibility — and those possibilities can be good or bad.
I don’t want to downplay the pain and heartbreak that can come with raising teens, but I do want to share another, delightful side of it all.
I’m lucky that my kids, and so many of their peers, are developing into amazing people. They’re making this period of parenting easy for me, and I’m so grateful.