During my childhood, my mom and her friends and family members saved a lot of money by passing on used baby gear and outgrown clothing. My daughter is an only child, and she doesn’t have any older cousins or anyone else who passes things on to her.
As a result, we have purchased most items new or in good used condition, and they often are still in great shape once we are done with them. But determining what to do with all the outgrown clothing, toys, and gear once we are done with them has been challenging — and sometimes, emotional, as well.
I struggled with what to do with the things my daughter grows out of
My daughter is now 7, and over the years, I’ve sold a few items on Facebook Marketplace and once tried selling at a children’s consignment sale. The amount of time preparing the items, tagging them, and bringing them to the sale location made the small amount of money I earned not feel worth it in the end.
When a family friend had a girl a year after I had mine, I started passing on some clothing to her in an attempt to stop drowning in bags of clothes, shoes, and winter coats that my daughter could no longer wear. But I still had a lot of gear, toys, and other items that ended up collecting dust in our basement.
Parting with my daughter’s things is sometimes emotional. Since she is an only child and we won’t be having any more kids, when clothing gets too small or she outgrows a toy, we never get to use them again. Even though they’re just things, letting go of them feels like saying goodbye to that chapter of her life, as well.
While donating things to a thrift shop is an option, things like an easel covered with paint and old stickers or dirty but perfectly functional sneakers will likely just be trashed, which makes me feel even worse.
Then, I discovered ‘Buy Nothing’ groups on Facebook
A few years ago, I joined a few ‘Buy Nothing’ and similar Facebook groups in my area. Buy Nothing and gifting groups not only allow members to post items they are looking to give away, but people can also post about items they are hoping to find at no cost. At first, I only posted in search of books for my little free library, then I realized that I had found the perfect way to get my daughters’ old things out of our house.
By just making a listing with a picture of the item I want to give away with a short description, I can get it into the hands of a family who will actually use it. After I’ve chosen a recipient from the comments, we exchange a few messages about pick up, and a day or so later, the item is off to its new home, without any of the haggling, payment issues, or multiple messages with people who don’t end up purchasing that I experienced when using Facebook marketplace. It has turned letting go of my daughter’s things from a negative experience into a positive one.
Occasionally, someone will post that they need a specific item, and it’s a cool feeling to realize that yes, I do actually have a kid’s life vest that’s collecting dust, and someone else could get use out of. One time, I happened to find a random bag of clothing that my daughter had outgrown years before, when a mom posted desperately looking for that exact size for her daughter. Sometimes it’s been a bit funnier, like the time a mom was looking for a baby Jesus for a Little People nativity set, and I just happened to have an extra.
Courtesy of Sara Rowe Mount
I’ve also been able to give an outgrown car seat to an overwhelmed single mom of six who needed one for her youngest, potty training gear to parents starting the process with their kids, and, most recently, a backpack to a mom whose son was starting PreK.
Every time that I give away something for free to another parent or grandparent, I know that it will be appreciated and used, which makes it a whole lot easier to let go of things. Because while a diaper pail doesn’t hold any sentimental attachment for me, the easel that my daughter painted on for four years and the life vest she wore for several summers of beach trips do. Even though it’s sometimes hard to let go of them, I’ve learned I don’t necessarily need the objects themselves to hold onto the memories.